6 month mark

a little video for you of saturday night while my aunt was taking a nap. the kids showed up. first jose, then bea, then tete, and after this video 4 more. Jose learned to dance recently (we think its some brazilian blood flowing through him). it makes me laugh so much. i hope you enjoy!

Remember when I was marking the weeks? I remember writing it has been 6 weeks! and now? almost six months!!! I thought it a good time to write because I have been in a lot of reflection about these first months here and I am sitting on a balcony in a hotel overlooking the beach. Last night I had trouble sleeping and I actually MISSED my home in the fazenda. I missed Sunday night adoration, I missed my kids, and I missed my housemates. It wasn't that I didn't want to be here (it is magical and a wonderful break), but I wanted to bring them with me. I felt so undeserving of these pleasures. I, Erica, did nothing in my life to deserve to not be in poverty. My people here are no different than me, I just happened to be born to an American middle class family. I guess it's something I'll never understand and I will turn my confusion into praise and thanksgiving of my creator who has given me all of this.

I got to see the Fazenda in new eyes as my Aunt Kathy visited for a day. She just got into the taxi a few minutes ago to head to the airport. It is still strange that she was actually HERE with me in my new home. She got to meet my friends and see my home (which she said was smaller than she expected!) She got to see me speaking portuguese and experience the happiness that I have here. She told me that the one thing that I dont talk enough about on here and that she liked the most was the community life. It is THE hardest aspect for me and the part I struggle with daily. She said she loved how people watched out for the others, thought of the others, and just showed up for breakfast Sunday morning. She was impressed how our head nun who is absolutely busy, took time to make us lunch Saturday afternoon and sit with us while we ate. And the kids were little darlings. By this I mean they sat with us for mass and evening prayer. Daniel sat on my aunt's lap and they were all sad she was only staying for one day. "but I like her," they said. Of course they were still busy bodies the entire time, but we can't ask them to be someone they're not :)

She amazed me with the stories of all the people who read my blog that I don't even know of and I sat in awe once again thinking how my life here is not just for me. I was able to reflect with her how much I have changed. And not changed to be someone else, but changed back into the person I was created to be.

My favorite thing my aunt said is how my experience here is like a diamond. First they have to (uh oh i forgot the word) grind? polish? the diamond before it is shiny and beautiful. It is exactly this. It can be painful and hard and exhausting and a lot of work, but in the end there I'll be beautiful and able to reflect light (the light of Christ). And so I cant wait to see what 1 more year of tarnishing? (why cant i remember the word?) is going to do.