Minha Vida

Each day as I lay my head on my pillow, I think about what I would write in my blog for that day. I think it is the most important thing that has happened and then by the time I get here a week later so many other things have happened.

Yesterday was the hardest day Ive had here. Not physically, but emotionally. Last week I was learning so many new words and I was thrilled. And then this week it has come to a hault. I get embarrassed to speak and I dont feel like Im making many improvements. (Sorry for no ' in my words. It is in a different place than in the US and I am getting tired of the mistakes..) What is beautiful of becoming like a child is also absolutely difficult. One on one conversations I can do fine, but in large groups (which is at least twice every day at meals) I am lost. I get bored and tired. Like a child. I do have a new compassion for children and all their antics. I dream of all the other things Id rather be doing than sitting there unable to understand the conversation. And when I do understand, it takes me so long to form a sentence that by the time its ready, theyve moved on topics.

I finally realized that this is my home, not a little vacation, but where Ill be for the next year and a half to two years. And that there is no choice but to learn portuguese. And so I continue to ask God for the grace to be patient with myself. I am here in a mission and compassion and I cannot give to anyone else until I learn to give it to myself.

Favorite moments of my week:
1. When I thought we were going to an hour mass and then a "festa" (party) and it ended up just being a THREE HOUR LONG mass without chairs. I guess its the brazilian way.. these long masses. I attended another a few days later. They had so much rock music I thought it was a concert. But it really was lovely to be a part of my new people even though I was the only white person with blue eyes. I am becoming one of them even if I cant understand any of what they are saying.

2. When we cleaned out the water tank. I arrived without having a clue as to what we were doing. Then they showed me the tiny hole I was to descend into. It was a gigantic cement box that gets cleaned every two years and lucky for me I was able to be here to experience it. We had to scoop out the dirty water with buckets, lift them up to people outside and they threw the water away. After we got the water out, we had to scoop up all the dirt and rocks three times until it was entirely clean. It was like our own sauna. I was dripping in sweat (at least I think it was sweat... maybe it was dirty water). I will never ever take our clean water for granted again. Then of course we didnt have water to shower in... Oy vey what a funny evening.

3. My second day of cooking dinner we were out of food except for bread and cheese because two days later was the one day of the month where we get our food. So what did we eat?!! grilled cheese!!!! with forks and knives.

4. I had my first coconut water from the side of the road. It was okay, I guess. I wont be dying for more though.

5. OHHHHH we went to the beach!!!! Brazilian beaches are gorgeous. We saw sea turtles and the water was so crystal clear. We are going again tomorrow with the entire fazenda, which will be pretty fun. I need more sunscreen though because my white skin burns within 30 minutes.

6. Yesterday Irma Josete and I stayed at the hearts home in the city. It is such a different life than here. Hustle and bustle and I became ever more grateful that I was sent here. God is amazing how He knows where to place us in our life. I was so happy to return today to my life of tranquility and routine. I realized it really must be my home if I MISS it while Im away.

7. Uba invited me for dinner! She takes care of Bia and has an 18 year old daughter. It was really nice and she gave me a necklace. What a beautiful offering. Two days later she taught me how to make necklaces and the next day, she gave me a shirt. These little acts of kindness mean so much to me. She also lent me her "little prince" book and I am using it to learn more portuguese.

8. At mass one evening there are 3 TOADS. Hopping around... So Anita has to shoo them out with a broom. After that night I have seen so many. I go to the bathroom at night and there one is waiting for me. They are so large and slimey and gross.

9. I have become like a Brazilian because I take two showers a day. One in the morning after I run and one in the evening after I sweat all day.

On Monday is the first day of school for the kids. I am going to be teaching Bia at the tiny school here. I am a bit nervous since my language is not that good, but I guess a three year old doesnt mind. Then one day a week Ill be teaching english and one day a week with two 7 year olds. They will be my challenge as they are quite.......... special.

My other responsibilities include cooking for the fazenda once a week... 35+ people. And Patrick-- we have to clean our house every day because its so dirty!!!! We clean and clean and it never really gets clean. My feet are perpetually dirty from the sand. I think of you, Patty, every time I pick up my broom.

I really should write my blogs before coming to the computer because I forget so much in this little computer box. It is much easier to see the beauty of life when I am staring at our beautiful hills of green.

It has been really hot here because not much rain. Sometimes I think I might faint, but then I chug along. My day of rest is on the 12th of february and I will be able to upload pictures then! I cannot wait to show the beauty here.

Ate mais,
èrica

Shell could you and your friends make 9 aprons? That would be one for each house here... You are the best. I am writing you a letter because I have so many other things to tell you!! And thank you for those paints... they are my life saver here.