Back at the fazenda

I was quite sad to return to the fazenda because I had fallen in love with the Coroa. But then I returned here and I found out that I am happy here too. So now I am thinking that this is an internal happiness. I guess I can be happy if I'm there or if I'm here.

Little heart

"Maria Lene, even though your heart is very little (pequeninho) you hold everyone in it" said the ten year old to her little sister

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Nede

A few days ago I was walking down the street with adriano and commented how I am amazed that all the people here, on such harsh conditions, are so happy. We had just passed the house of a woman who always calls to us to visit her. She appeared so happy. Adriano said he thinks it's a superficial happiness.
Then yesterday during our visits we visited her. Nede is her name. She led us to the back of her house (in her towel and reaking of alcohol), sat us in half broken chairs, and cried. Her husband left her for another woman. She told us of her loneliness and kept touching her heart, which she said was in deep pain. What a big realization for me. OUTSIDE she appears happy, but INSIDE she is filled with sadness. How this was even more clear to me because of our location in her house. Her pain reminded me of a pain I once had and I was moved to sit next to her on the rock. Her loneliness penetrated me and I couldn't help but put my arm around her. I think human touch heals... Especially human touch draped in the love of Christ. We prayed a decade of the rosary for Nede's life and she cried into my arms.
I have been thinking about how Elizabeth Gilbert said in Eat Pray Love something about how the pain of human love exists across all continents and cultures. I am seeing this first hand as this is not the first woman this week to come to me this week saddened by men. I am thanking God for all the heart breaks I've had in my tiny life because now I am able to see the purpose of the pain. I am able to sit WITH these women and have a special kind of compassion.

Pray for my return to the fazenda on Sunday because I have really fallen in love with the life here. I am having to trust in God's reason for having me at the fazed instead.

Até
Érica

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A few videos!

This is the boy singing the other night!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBFPG0t2rfw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R01LmLGUut0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va2sHgEav8w

in other news! Two weeks ago I was talking to Marie Ines. I asked her why we dont have a sewing machine here. She said she has been asking for one for a year. So I said, I will start praying for this. And then you know what I found out yesterday--someone gave us a sewing machine. I am so amazed by this....

and one year ago yesterday, I finished college. How time is flying by. Today is my two month mark. I think Im going to have to find more sponsors to stay longer here as 14 months is not long enough... Start praying for this!

How does Angelina do it?

What an incredible couple of days it has been. I am in Simoes Filho deep in the Favela. I had this really funny idea that it would be like Angelina Jolie in the middle of Africa. My hair flowing in the wind (clean, shiny hair) and the children holding my hands. In reality, I have to wear my hair in a pony tail because of there is always a chance of lice. I actually think I already caught lice from Tete, but I am too afraid to inquire further in my scalp. Walking to the grocery store I come back literally dripping in sweat. During lunch today, I was dripping in sweat after just sitting and eating. I permanately have dirt between my toes.

The reality of the life is that we are woken up at 5am with water dripping from the ceiling because the water tank is over flowing. Then in the middle of the day we are unable to shower because there is no more water arriving. The reality of the life here is cutting up a chicken (my very first time cutting a whole chicken) and finding a green tumor. The reality of the life is that is almost impossible to sleep because it is so hot.

However, even though it is not glamorous and I don't look like Angelina Jolie, the love here is incredible. My first visits a few days ago left me smiling deeply from my heart. When we walk the streets the people yell, "oi tia, oi tio" which is aunt and uncle. There is so much respect for the people of Pontos Coracao. When people pass our house, they yell hello and there is constantly someone at the window to ask for something. One time someone even asked to borrow my english-portuguese dictionary. They come to the house to get bandaids or for a cup of water. It is truly beautiful.

Last night we had mass in our tiny chapel and the door kept opening with more and more people. There we were in a tiny room celebrating together. With some people I just had met, yet I felt deeply their love for me. Afterward, there were two people that stuck around. A boy about my age started to sing and I was in awe. He was AMAZING. I have a lot of videos of him and when I am at a house for a day of rest I will upload the videos (it is much too slow here). It made me miss my brother. A lot. We invited them for dinner (thank goodness I made a lot of food) and we stayed up til 11 singing (I was just a bystander). I cannot express its beauty.

I have a feeling my entire time here will be marked by sweaty, uncomfortable moments and contrasted by the beauty of friendship and love. I hope you enjoy these pictures, some that really make me laugh this week.


Cecilia with Francisco at their day of despidida. They are back in Argentina now where Nicolas is a doctor and Cecilia is an artist (although now shell stay with Francisco)
isnt he beautiful
tete loves him

i love this picture of the men praying the Rosary with their babies
after Cecilia had Francisco, all the girls loved their baby dolls. this was so cute for there last moments in the Fazenda
bea and baby
my last moments with Francisco. It was realllly windy.
Giving their testemony
Cecilia, Nicolas, Francisco, and me
gabby had a dirty diaper. jonathan has never changed a diaper before so he went and put on an apron and got plastic bags... like he was cleaning up dog poop

her sister was not pleased with jonathans inability to complete this task

here he goes
she says, come on jonathan. its not that difficult
he completed the task!
i guess all kids like 'telephones'
jonathan and gabby a little girl in the neighborhood
she calls me 'eca' (see the sweat?)
hallo hallo. tudo bom?
this is me after my 10 minute walk to the grocery store
I received an apron from my grandpa. He said that if he gets his clothes dirty, he has a wife to clean them so he thought I should have his apron. Here I am cooking with it!

Padre Guillarme falling asleep as we listen to music after dinner

A talk that Padre Guillarme gave during the Despidida of Nicolas and Cecilia
in salvador

Love you,
Er

The Girl Gets Sick

A virus spread through the kids of the Fazenda like wildflowers... and me. Each day a new child was waking up with a fever and a cold and Thursday was my turn. So I have been taking it very easy these past few days. I have moved houses to the Coroa to the Hearts Home in the Barrio. Life here is much different as I can see more easily the vibrancy of life of Brazilians. The Fazenda is a bit sheltered as we are such a mash of cultures. But now I will get to experience the dancing and the music and the food and the laughter of Brazilians.

We had a silent retreat this week in the Fazenda and it was an incredible way to prepare for lent. It is always difficult to find quiet time in life to properly prepare for lent, so I brought all of my friends and sponsors with me into the silence. I prayed for all of you in a deep way. And now we have 40 days in the desert. It is quite amazing after a few days to silence the way the world quietsdown and I can hear more clearly the whisperings of my heart.

We have to run and catch a bus now so I must go. I will write more this week!
some of the girls and boy in the neighborhood of the Coroa. Can you see the life in them?

Did you ever know you could make 7 payments on a shirt if its too expensive for you?

on my last day of rest at a beach!

the lighthouse

our "cabana"

Daniel, Tete, Nina, Bea

Jose, the baby of one of the French couples

a Favela in Salvador--truly incredible that people live like this

the girls painting masks for Carnival at my house

Sixth week already

I am in my sixth week here, which is almost hard to believe. Each day my week gets more full as I am asked to do more tasks around the Fazenda. I am having difficulty finding time to study my portuguese and when I do finally sit down to study I tend to fall asleep after fifteen minutes. I shock myself often when I no longer need to translate from English to Portuguese in my head and the sentences flow out naturally. Of course this is not all the time, but often when I'm with the kids it comes more easily.

I had another weekend of rest to get to know the city of Salvador. I stayed at another French community called the Verbo de Vida. Marie, a french girl my same age, and I went to the Paladrino, which holds very old and beautiful buildings. We went to the Marcado to do some shopping for her. She is returning to France in two weeks so she had a list of Brazilian goods that she wanted. It was my first experience using money here. We are given a certain amount for what we need and then we keep all the receipts and keep count of what we spend for what things. Each month each missionary is allowed 30 reais. I didn't realize until my last day that 30 reais equals 18 dollars. The buses are pretty expensive and so most of my money went to transportation and then I got a little bit of food. But for the first time monetarily I felt connected with the poor. Sure, I know what it's like to be left wanting something at Anthropology where the dresses are $200. But I have never been left wanting food for lunch or a bottle of water because it is hot. I had to keep recounting what I had and what I needed to be able to get home. And yes, I wanted the beautiful dresses and the beautiful hammocks and goods in the market, but more than anything I wanted some food. And was unable to satisfy this need. What a humbling experience and something that is going to take time to get used to. It made me very aware of the difference between my needs and my wants.

We also went to a beautiful park. We encountered a Nutrition event and I weighed myself--I lost weight. Maybe one of the first female Heart's Home missionaries to do so. Then we went to the beach. I was in heaven when I took a nap in the sand. Marie didn't care for the sitting so I was only allowed 30 minutes. We walked and walked. Another thing I'm learning--compromise. Whoever I end up marrying is a lucky lucky man because I will be a pro at compromising by the end here. The next day she took me to a lake that is surrounded in white sand and then after we went to another beach. Then, I had my first experience of taking the bus ALONE! I made it back safe and sound, a true miracle!
I'm having a great week with Bea as we begin to learn our letters and our shapes. Today she was ready for daycare an hour and a half early and wouldn't leave my side until we went. We love to sing together as I make up songs about everything.

This afternoon all the girls are coming to my house to make masks for Carnival. The whole city is shutting down for these festivities this month and we are trying to create fun and wholesome events for everyone in the Fazenda. I just found out an hour ago that I will be going to the Heart's Home in the favela nearby. They will only have two people because two are leaving this weekend. And then Jonathan is going to Rio with Padre Arno to talk about Hearts Home and find more sponsors for the Fazenda. I will stay there for 15 days. I am a bit nervous because Ive finally begun to find my place here. But I trust in Gods plan for this and so I go happily!

With much love overflowing from my heart,
Erica