I am not a princess, I am a queen

It was Tete´s 8th birthday. We had a party for her at our house. I made a big sign that said Happy Birthday Princess Estefany. When I read her the sign (as she cannot read) she turned to me and said very seriously, "I am not a princess." Then she added, "I am Queen Estefany." I almost fell over laughing as this was not a joke for her. I look forward to posting pictures from this special day in a few weeks! (When will this day of rest arrive? I hope soon.

Good News!!!!!

So yesterday I was in line to get my dessert (yes i eat dessert every day) and Irma said Erica I have great news for you, Ill tell you after. I said no, she needed to tell me now. Well.... we got a donation to fix the construction of the school. We have bathrooms and such too. She is still looking into the details because each donor gives specific details of how it needs to be used. But we can get some money for some of the things I need to do. SO that is great news and an answer to the many prayers!!!!!!!! thank you!!! of course we're still looking for more!!!! I was losing hope a bit in God, but once again he reminded me that Hes here.

Today Padre Arnaud is moving houses. Aldo, a peruvian who is here for 6 months after his first mission in discernment, will live with us. It will be a nice change as Aldo is REALLY calm.

Tata is going through many changes. She needs so many prayers. She is the 20 year old in my house. She is angry. Every single day she is angry with another person. Its getting a bit tiring on our end to tell her every day we werent talking about her. She is beginning to learn to read and her schooling is coming along well. I think she needs more prayers in the social aspects of things. As she was always the one people laughed at. She doesnt know that people can actually love her. Pray for us as we are all learning how to be in community.

Hm, what more to say? Today we have sun so I am very happy! amazing how a little sun can brighten a day. This weekend I have my second retreat with the young girls. Im really really excited for it and need many prayers as I prepare. What a gift they are to me.

I am looking for some pictures to hang on my wall. I failed to bring them with me so if you have any pretty pictures send them my way! And mail, oh how I love to receive mail. If you mail me, Ill be sure to mail you back!!!!

In three weeks, Ill have another day of rest and I have SOOOO many pictures to share. Check back soon!

Love,
Erica

Amelia Bedilia part two

Where to begin. My time in desert was pure bliss. I laid in my bed in the tiny room reading all day. When I got tired I slept for thirty minutes and awoke to read more. The silence mended my heart alone and I regained my energy. I found the black hole that had formed in my chest (im fairly certain in the house of my soul) was hungry for God. I had mistaken the hunger for belly hunger and had been feeding it food. But in the end all it needed was time with its Creator. I returned refreshed and happy.

Busy life greeted me once again. Tuesday we worked on our road. It is in terrible condition and many people dont visit because its bad for cars. This week alone we had two of our 3 cars break due to the road. So we were digging holes to drain water when it rains. Now I am with a serious backpain from digging up dirt. What a pain!

Today brought a very funny and not so funny moment for me. I didnt wash my clothes for two weeks so today was the day. However, I have this one pair of capris that is navy blue that the dye leaves the cloth. I had already experienced this two times so I dont wear them often. But the other day my pants ripped while working on the road so I ran home (literally ran 15 minutes) to change pants. I grabbed them and totally forgot when I did my laundry. I threw everything in a bucket to soak with alcohol because they have a nasty smell due to the humidity and detergent. After cooking lunch for everyone, I returned to do some washing. Wellllll ALL MY CLOTHES ARE STAINED WITH BLUE. and imagine.. I didnt wash for two weeks, which means just about everything is in the laundry... BLUE. for the first few months i kept saying, well this will be my work clothes. now just about everything is my work clothes. the one pair of shorts that didnt turn blue, i got paint on during school with bea. ALl I can do is laugh at my ridiculous life.

On another note, I have lice for real this time. Today we picked it out. And the other day padre picked up a cup to drink some water and a tiny toad hopped out. How disgusting. It has been raining for days and is quite gloomy. I cant seem to find time to finish my estimate proposal for my school house so that is coming along slowly. I am going to have another Girls weekend in a week and I am very excited.

OH! I am loving all the school supplies you sent. And Anita, the woman with skitsophrenia in my house asked me for a pencil yesterday. She is a great artist, but always tells me her sickness blocks her from doing anything (she either sits in the church or in our hammock ALL day). She told me she wanted to test out drawing and see if her hand was strong engouh. Then today she asked me for crayons to be able to draw during adoration. It is such a privelege to give it to her and know how much love was sent with the items. You are all such a blessing!

love Erica

Deserto

I know I grew up all my life in a desert. Maybe thats why I am craving so badly what we call in Hearts Home, the Desert. I will go Saturday and Sunday into the desert, a time of isolation and prayer. I have four months here and I am more than exhausted. I am going to do some sleeping and then I am going to clear my busy busy mind to be able to hear my God. He will help me recuperate and I will return to the Fazenda ready for more. ANd so I ask you, my dear friends and sponsors, to please pray for me during this time.

Mothers Day

I had a brilliant idea to make pendants with the finger prints of the children in clay. Then make a necklace for each mom. I couldnt find the clay that you can cook so I bought some that said it takes 2 to 3 days to dry. I didnt take into account the humidity here, so as you can imagine they never dried. Right before giving them out, I cooked them a bit in the oven. The finger prints were almost gone, but hey its the thought that counts, right? So the kids gave them out. And in mass.... they all started melting. Oh what a horror. It was really funny and I had to explain the story to the moms.

I went with a few of the kids to visit their moms. I was so happy to meet them, but the conditions were so difficult and I left with a heavy heart. First we dropped off Tete at her moms. Her mom was just getting out of bed at 11, I think still intoxicated from the night before. They have one little room with one bed. 3 girls sleep in it with the mom and her boyfriend. The boyfriend was on drugs for sure. The amazing part was that Tete was SO happy to be there.

Then I went with Renaud to visit the mom of Marcos and Daniel. She was SO extatic to see them. She stopped every single person in the street to show them off. She is so thin you can see every bone in her body and she is missing 4 front teeth. She´s about 24. She is a prostitute and before was living in the streets. A few years ago they built her a little house of wood. Marcos saved money each day during lent to buy her a Mothers Day present. They also gave her clothes. She was balling. At first I thought out of happiness, but then she kept saying "I miss my mom. I want my mom." Marcos consoled her telling her not to cry. We invited her to lunch, but she said she had other things to do. We climbed back up the hill (it was like her house was in a ditch... the terrain quite tricky to descend). All the men and boys in the street were dressed as women. I thought it was their normal clothes, but then they explained it was for Mothers day--they dressed as mothers. It was a horrid sight. I have never felt so uncomfortable and sad. But the thing was, the boys were so happy to see their mom. They snuggled against her concave stomach and reached for her hand as often as possible. And she too expressed her love for them in how she knew. I could see she loved them even though she cannot care for them.

Even though I couldnt be with my mom, it was a very special mothers day that I will never forget. It made me so so grateful for the mother I was blessed with.

Other things are normal around here. I will write about Tata on Thursday during my internet hour (I went to Simoes FIlho to get my last package of socks!! 200 reais!) Bea learned how to write the letter A and the letter B this week. She is incredible and I am amazed by her.

I found out we have a website with LOTS of photos of the fazenda. check it out https://picasaweb.google.com/pontoscoracaobrasil

Love to you all. I lift you up in prayer every day and hope that the Holy Spirit carries my love to you.
Love,
Erica

Update on sending boxes

So I only had to pay for 2/6 boxes and I have NO idea the rhyme or reason. I found out a way around it, but it has to be done on your end. When you write the paper on teh front of the box to send that says the prices and such. There are boxes you check. Gift, merchandise, etc. and there is an "other" choice. Check this and write in

DONATION/DOAÇÃO

And when you are putting the prices of the items, write SMALL amounts even if you´re lying. Then it should arrive without paying. An expensive lesson for me to learn, but we are so so so grateful for all the sheets, towels, and socks. People are SOOO delighted. SO delighted.


Today when I was praying the Our Father and for an instant I felt immensely connected with every person in the world who will pray that same prayer today. Those little moments I hang on to continue in my day.

Praying very much for all of you. Oh and Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers!!! I hope you have a lovely, relaxing day full of love. All of our kids are going to go visit their mothers if their mothers dont live here. Yesterday we made some presents for them. Mothers day is a huge holiday here in Bahia because often they are left with all the kids while the fathers leave to procreate with other women :) But they have so much love and respect for their mothers, it is truly amazing.

Let us not forget our Mother, Mary on this day as well.
Love, Erica

Children are the Light of the World

I have been dying to share this story with you and am finding it fitting that today is the day of the beatification of John Paul II. I have come across another saint who is only 5 years old. My church had asked what the Fazenda needed that they could collect. I sent some items and in the last minute I told them we needed socks. Each child only had one or two pairs. Daniel was using socks made for a three year old and as you can imagine they were always dirty and with plenty of holes. A little girl, Elle, heard that the children didn´t have socks. It was almost time for her 5th birthday and she was going to have a party. And do you know what she told her mom-- that instead of presents from all of her friends, she wanted each guest to bring socks for our children. I have never, in my twenty two years, heard a child give so selflessly. I try to think of her every day and ask God to make me more like her--this child who so easily thinks of others before herself. She is a little saint.

We received the package this week. All the kids knew it was coming because I recounted this story as often as possible. On our end, I have never seen children so happy for SOCKS. I know that when I was young and received socks or underwear I probably cried to my mom in ungratefulness. Well, everyone sat silently as I called their name to receive a bag of socks. Then I attempted to take some photos, but they just wouldnt sit still. And now every day they are wearing their tennis shoes around the fazenda with their new socks (normally we wear sandals in the fazenda and our tennis shoes are for when we leave and go to school).

The kids wanted to sing her happy birthday in Portuguese. I uploaded it here: (if you see Elle at church, make sure to tell her to watch this.. Ill be sending thank you cards soon!!!)

Marcos, Padre Arno, Me, Aldo (a new missionary from Peru), Irma Miriam, and Lucas for a goodbye dinner of an uncle who came for two months to help around the fazenda

And this is my new family here in Brazil. I went to Marie Helena´s house for my last day of rest and just fell in love with her family. Her sister, Zayde, is on the left with her daughter. She invited me into her home and is treating me like a daughter. Yesterday we went shopping and she bought me a beautiful new dress for when we have more formal occassions and a new shirt (which im wearing in the photo). She even bought a new pillow especially for my bed here. We had a lovely dinner of pizza in a little restaurant close to her house. They are my angels because without this rest I really would not make it in the Fazenda. Oh, how lucky I am!!

ps, we found out the problem with the boxes. i received so many at one time and they were so big that the police started searching them. they think we are importing goods to sell. so the only thing we can do is pay. BUT i cant receive any more big packages. and if you send things, write many different items on the front page... even if there isnt many different things in it. learning experience for us all :)